11 April 2020: by Doreen Loubser (Online News Editor)
The Novel Coronavirus or rather COVID-19 has killed over 100 000 people across the world and by the time you read this, it would have infected over 2 million people and I know one of them.
His name is Daryn Mildenhall and he is currently in an induced coma in a hospital in Cape Town.
The last time I saw Daryn and his wife Karen, we were having drinks at Numbers in East London, over a decade ago.
East London locals will tell you that Daryn is synonymous with Numbers nightclub, which was one of the best clubs in the country. He dedicated 20 years of his life to the club.
Whenever you go to Numbers, whether it was for an under 18’s party, and over 40’s, or one of Algoa FM’s legendary decades’ parties, you will be sure to see Daryn either in the DJ box or having a few drinks with familiar faces at the bar.
His beautiful wife Karen was always by his side.
The only reason I know Karen and Daryn is because of Algoa FM.
In the late nineties when Algoa FM commercialised a lot of focus was put on our audience in the East London area, and seeing that Numbers was one of the hottest clubs in the country, the station felt it would be great to do something together, and so the Decade's Party was born.
Let me tell you, this was the highlight on Algoa FM's social calendar and just about the entire PE office would drive down to East London to PARTY!
This is how we all got to know Daryn.
I moved down to East London to join Gordon Graham on the Border Drive in 2008 and was surprised to only learn many years later that our now, Managing Director, Alfie Jay, offered Daryn the position of a co-host. When he turned it down, I guess they asked me?
I never understood why Daryn would say no.
He would often pop into the studio at Hemingway's while we were doing the show and he would just hang out on the couch for a bit.
I always figured he turned down the opportunity because of Numbers and according to Alfie Jay that was 100% true. It was a busy operation and Daryn was just so passionate and committed to Numbers.
Personally, I always thought he was a very shy guy, him and Karen both, actually.
As I spoke to Karen I realised we had only ever had conversations in Numbers, and that I did not know them on a deeply personal level, not at all.
I phoned her this weekend and started off our conversation by asking about how they had met and fell in love, it is always my favourite thing to ask. Turns out "shy" Daryn was quite the romantic and even though he waited seven years to pop the question, he went and did it in style.
Karen, who agreed that seven years was a long time to wait, was in the UK at the time on a two-year visa and a long-distance relationship between Wimbledon and East London was born.
On Daryn's birthday on the 17th of August 2007, he told Karen he would be out drinking with his friends and that his battery was dying. She begged him to switch his phone on at midnight so that she could wish him a happy birthday.
Well, when the clock struck midnight, his phone was dead, and Karen was livid, to say the least.
She knew he would be playing golf on his birthday and clearly did not bother to charge his phone.
Karen went to a local restaurant with her friends and the next moment someone was sitting next to her and it was Daryn.
His phone was indeed off because he was on a flight to Wimbledon.
That night they were standing outside friends' flat where he was just holding her.
He took out a ring and said, "will you?" and of course Karen replied "yes".
Karen was quite literally the “girl next door” as she lived just up the road from Daryn. She was not even 18-years-old when Daryn, who is eight years older, took her to an under 18’s party at Numbers.
When she eventually turned 18, they were both going through a break-up and that is actually how their relationship started.
“We were just there for each other,” she said.
Fast forward to April 2020 and Karen is currently self-isolating at a Bed and Breakfast in Cape Town.
November will be their 10th wedding anniversary.
After 20 years together, Karen, who has never left Daryn’s side, except for her time in the UK, had to leave him at the ICU in Hospital.
She has not seen or spoken to her husband in over a week.
One would think that getting the Coronavirus would be one hell of a nightmare, but the couple's nightmare started in May 2018 when they lost their baby at five months old.
Five months into the pregnancy they realised that the baby was not growing. Doctors said they would have to remove the foetus if it had any chance of surviving.
Kylie Mildenhall was “born” on the 10th of May 2018. She died two days later on the 12th.
Seven months after losing their baby, Daryn, now 45, was diagnosed with Cancer.
Squamous cell carcinoma pharyngeal Sinus, basically cancer of the sinuses.
Karen said they had travelled to Cape Town on the 16th March as Daryn had 10 days of specialized radiation treatment to go through, which started on the 25th. At this time the pain in his lung which started in East London got worse.
As the days went by his condition deteriorated and they became increasingly concerned.
After the 7th treatment, he started complaining about pain and an X-ray confirmed that he had some fluid on his lungs.
Karen said up until then they had no idea that the Coronavirus had taken hold of Daryn, as his symptoms were not the usual ones we have come to learn about in the news. The Doctor kept asking if he was running a fever, but the answer was no.
Due to his cancer, most of his sinuses had been cut away, so he was not experiencing normal flu-like symptoms.
“Daryn would cough three times then sneeze, and that was weird,” Karen said.
His feet were swollen, and he could not get any sleep lying down.
Karen had to make him comfortable in a seated position for him to get some rest.
She said on the 3rd of April Daryn asked her to take him to the hospital as his pain and discomfort was becoming unbearable, he struggled to breathe.
She was instructed by their doctor to take him to the emergency room where they told her that it could be his heart. The trauma doctor called back later to confirm that he had Pneumonia.
Still, Karen had no idea that COVID-19 would be the real diagnosis.
She was already so paranoid about what she saw on the news and because her husband was already ill, she took every precaution possible to keep him safe.
Daryn would never go to the shops with her and would always wear a mask.
She would clean and disinfect the counters three times a day, no shoes were allowed in the house and every time they had been out, they would shower first and immediately put on clean clothes.
The following day on the 4th of April Karen’s fear became a reality. And just like that the love of her life was taken away to the ICU and placed in an induced coma.
No contact, no visits, just an update from the doctor once a day.
Karen said the owner of the Bed and Breakfast had no choice but to self-isolate with her and the two of them have become like mother and daughter, cooking together, and keeping each other sane.
After speaking to Karen, I felt like fumigating and disinfecting my entire home. We are in lockdown and I have hand sanitizer in every room in the house, in fact, I have developed some eczema on my wrists from all the washing and scrubbing.
I do not wipe my phone, doorknobs, car keys or any other devices I touch.
I saw my neighbour’s washing their groceries in the garden with soap and water the other day and we laughed at them. I don’t think it is so funny now.
“Just don’t leave your house”, Karen said. “This virus is real”.
I felt sad after our conversation and as strong as Karen sounded, I am after all also a wife, and cannot imagine what she must be going through.
To me, this is a story of love, courage, friendship and devotion.
I imagined Daryn lying in his hospital bed, softly asking Karen, 'Will you?" as she replies "Yes".
UPDATE: We are sad to report that Daryn Mildenhall died in Cape Town on Friday the 17th of April.
