“You’re 30 and you’re not married?”
It’s a hell of a lot better than being divorced at the age of 25!
I hear a lot of people speak about how much we don’t value marriage anymore or about how young their parents were when they wed.
I’m not even going to sugar coat this one. There’s no foreplay, no “Let me just slip the tip in” business, I’m sliding it all in. Sellotape it to your vital organs.
One of the many reasons a lot of people married so young and so frequently back then was because sex out of marriage was very heavily frowned upon. We can go back as far as the early 1900’s, and unless you worked in a brothel, you had no business giving into the temptations of the flesh. Your dad isn’t as romantic as you’d like to believe him to be. He wanted the poomps and sex before marriage wasn’t on the cards. Not only did he want the poomps, but he wanted it regularly and cohabitation was about as possible as understanding the lyrics of any Young Thug song, so he proposed to get it on repeat. Basically, your dad wanted the car but financing/leasing wasn’t really an option, so your dad had to buy it outright if he was going to be doing handbrake turns in it. If people were really still about the ‘no sex before marriage’ life, weddings all around. If women really put a lock and key on it before marriage, Pastor Beyoncé & her 2 disciples wouldn’t have a congregation to lead astray.
I don’t understand how you women still listen to anything Beyoncé says when in ‘Soldier’, she was telling you to get a roadman/thug while her own man was climbing the ‘Forbes list’.
“If his status ain’t hood
I ain’t checking for him
Better be street if he looking at me
I need a soldier
That ain’t scared to stand up for me
Known to carry big things
If you know what I mean
If his status ain’t hood
I ain’t checking for him
Better be street if he looking at me
I need a soldier
That ain’t scared to stand up for me
Gotta know to get dough
And he better be street”
Her man is collecting millions and she’s trying to convince you to find yourself a man with nothing but GBH and consigning 8th’s on his CV.
“Known to carry big things”
You think she’s talking about qualifications? In other songs she was telling you to forget about a man and do your own thing when she was going home to d**k wrapped in $500 million.
People nowadays get married a whole lot later than in our parents and grandparents generation because things aren’t the same as they used to be back then. It’s a different environment and that’s not automatically a bad thing.
Marriage has evolved as a concept over the decades. Where as it was a kind of career step for women, as they weren’t allowed to work, and for men, it was having someone to do things around the house for him while he was at work. Nowadays women can work and we have a multitude of technologies that allow men to be able to do all the things around the house and still be able to work.
I’ve personally never really cared for marriage anyway. What none ‘material’ thing does marriage add to your already established and solid relationship? Apart from the obvious religious aspects, does marriage serve any other function that cannot be served by cohabitation?
“Marriage shows commitment”
Shouldn’t commitment already be shown at the highest possible level BEFORE marriage?
I think some people believe being married will automatically decrease the chances of their relationship going south. They feel like it’s an IronMan suit for their relationship. What I can say that I have noticed is that many people tend to have a higher tolerance for bullshit from their partner when they’re married. Got these women letting themselves go, getting fat and then screaming “through thick and thin”. “It’s baby weight” Like that baby isn’t in year 11. Nicole Murphy is 46 with 5 kids and you let 1 baby turn you into the Michelin man and because I’m your husband, I should be okay with it? Like I wont delete you.
“I can’t just leave him without trying, he’s my husband”
A lot of people are way more willing to overlook cheating when they’re married.
I guess with what weddings and divorces cost, I can understand why it’s harder to leave a marriage than it is to leave a non-contractually bound relationship. It’s like being on a lifetime EE contract, they can mess you about, and they will, but you’ll think twice about leaving because of how much it will cost to dissolve your union or how much you will lose, emotionally and/or financially. Should’ve got that rolling contract.
Marriage is not something that will change how your partner is, it is not a magic potion that will make a mans attraction to other women disappear. If he is the cheating type, being married won’t change that; it might just make him a little more careful than usual. He was a piece of shit before, now he’s a piece of shit with a ring on his finger.
A happy, stable unmarried couple that has been together for 20 years versus a happy, stable married couple that has been together for 20 years, what does one couple have more of than the other? Does the married couple have a different kind of love? Love+?
For many women, marriage is actually mostly about the engagement ring and the wedding. Tell her that you want to get married at registry office, no big ceremony and you don’t have an engagement ring and she’ll go from calling you ‘baby’ to ‘akh’ real quick. She’ll definitely run jokes about you with her mum and her friends.
It’s all about the big day for some people; it’s a big status symbol. Spending money you don’t really have, to impress a bunch of people you haven’t seen since you were 10 & you probably won’t see again until your kids are 10 and you need someone to baby sit because your husband left you and now you are working 2 jobs because he left you with nothing because his gambling addiction cleaned everyone out, but he was your husband and you stuck by him. Even through the prostitutes.
A lot of people use money that could go towards buying their first home or starting a business together to throw a lavish wedding with unicorns and magical rabbits that will leave them in debt at the beginning of their relationship, leading to stress and eventually turning into a break, which really means your wife is going to have another man playing pin the dick on the vital organs with her while you have sleepless nights about how much of your money she gets when she finally leaves you.
Would I get married? Surprisingly, yes. If marriage were something that my partner really wanted, I would HAPPILY get on one knee and make an honest woman out of her. Relationships are about compromise and when you’ve found the one, I guess it’s all about doing whatever it takes to make them happy.
For all of you people that do want a relationship that is so strong it needs to be contractually bound, I see marriage as a step that you take when you are READY, not when you are 25, 32 or 40. It is supposed to be a life long commitment, you have to be prepared. Don’t let society pressure you into jumping into something that you are nowhere near ready for. Don’t let your family rush you. Remind your aunty that she has been left by 3 husbands now, so you’d like to politely decline her advice. Marriage isn’t something that you’re supposed to have done by a ‘certain age’, that mentality leads into rushing things and ending up with the wrong partners. Take your time; you have your whole lives ahead of you, TOGETHER. Some things cannot be rushed, especially marriage. Take you time and do it right, ONCE.
Remember the first step to marriage is getting a boyfriend. Some of you haven’t even unlocked him as a playable character yet and you’re here talking about “My engagement ring should cost no less than Liberia’s trade deficit.” Take your time live your life, and do it when you are ready, not a day sooner. You can’t even maintain a relationship with your edges, what makes you think you are ready for marriage, Instagram?
Originally posted on
https://iammrexposed.wordpress.com/2015/01/02/30-and-you-are-not-married/
