The art of stringing along: Understanding bread-crumbing in a relationship

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This article was written by Qaqamba Falithenjwa

Ever felt like someone is stringing you along in a relationship, giving you just enough attention to keep you hooked but never enough to truly move forward? Welcome to the world of bread-crumbing.

It’s a concept where one partner drops occasional “crumbs” of affection or interest to keep the other person invested, without any real commitment. If you’ve been left wondering where you stand or why things feel stagnant, you might be dealing with bread-crumbing. Let’s break down the signs, why it happens, and how to take back control of your love life!

Psychology Today further explains this as breadcrumbing a term used to describe a pattern of communication where a person sends small nuggets of information without fully committing to a relationship, often online. This ambiguity can be confusing and hurtful to the receiver. It is stated that breadcrumbs can occur in romantic, personal, and professional relationships and it is not an official psychological term or diagnosis.

The publication adds that breadcrumbing can lead to feelings of loneliness, helplessness, and less satisfaction. “The prolonged nature of the process makes it particularly difficult, perhaps more so than ghosting. The person is stuck on standby, leading to feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, and invalidation.” This can also cause social rejection, confusion, self-doubt, isolation, and loss of trust or hope, the publication mentions.

When it comes to reasons why people would breadcrumb others, the Cleveland Clinic states that some people engage in it to gain control and attention, while others may have an avoidant or insecure attachment style or low self-esteem. The answer to why people engage in breadcrumbing depends on the person’s communication style and whether they know or care about the harm caused.

According to Medical News Today, this challenging relationship issue can be managed by clear communication, setting boundaries, establishing expectations, and seeking professional help. The publication believes that by acknowledging one’s worth and addressing the behaviour, individuals can minimise its effects and move on from the relationship.

This article first appeared on Bona.

Also see: How to use the 5 love languages to strengthen your relationship