Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month: How to talk to men about their mental health

image from Unsplash.

This article was written by Qaqamaba Falithenjwa.

At this point in the year, you are probably on the lookout for gifts to give your husbands and fathers/father-figures, as Father’s Day is approaching. However, have you considered gifts that are not only pleasing to the eye but also appeasing to men’s mental health?

Talking from an experience’s point of view, the mental health guide and trainee therapist, Alex Holmes, took to Happiful, an online magazine for mental health and wellbeing, to share ways to gently approach a man about mental health issues.

Don’t be selfish in your approach. It is important to remember that it is not about you but the man you approached. Alex states that it is common for people to put themselves forward in conversations as if they are the victims. He says, “While a man with poor mental health may not always make life pleasant for those around them, it’s important to toe the line between issuing blame and guilt and taking a caring approach.” Alex suggests that one should, despite the man’s behaviour, talk calmly for the man to open up because, “Feelings of inadequacy, rejection, low self-esteem, and possibly self-hate can emanate strongly in men,” and they don’t necessarily mean any harm.

Don’t force the conversation: Alex is against the idea of forcing a man to talk about his mental health issues, he says some might not be comfortable speaking because of past betrayal, believing that they should bottle things up. “It could be that they don’t want to burden you with the weight of what they’re carrying. They might want to talk about what’s going on, but they don’t trust the feeling of vulnerability.” The mental health guide advises that men must be given space to open up on their terms. What someone who wants to help can do is create a safe space for them, build up trust and prove reliability.

Protect him from toxic masculinity: The term toxic masculinity is described by the Men’s Resource Centre of West Michigan as the collection of gendered and cultural norms that are bad for men’s pleasure and well-being. These norms make men believe that “They are not progressing in life, that they are not successful enough, or that they are just not ‘man’ enough due to social constraints surrounding what it means to be a guy,” says the above-mentioned resource centre. Alex states that toxic masculinity may give rise to certain insecurities, irresponsibility, and mood swings in a man already faced with mental health issues. If you want to help a man in distress, it is suggested that you affirm his worth and let him know he doesn’t have to conform to the toxic phenomenon of society about men.

This article first appeared on Bona.