Managing a friendship with someone who has ADHD

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This article was written by Qaqamba Falithenjwa.

Have you ever wondered how to build a healthy and fulfilling friendship with someone who lives with a mental health condition like ADHD? Building such relationships can be deeply enriching, but it requires understanding, empathy, and a willingness to learn about their condition to create a supportive environment where they can be themselves.

According to Healthline, ADHD is a mental health condition that can lead to heightened levels of hyperactivity and impulsive behaviours. People living with ADHD may demonstrate behaviours that differ from what is considered typical, sometimes causing misunderstandings between them and others.

Dr. Marianne Trent, a clinical psychologist and author, shares insightful strategies for navigating relationships with individuals living with ADHD to avoid unnecessary friction.

Avoiding Overemphasis on Attention

Dr. Marianne advises against basing friendships solely on the amount of attention received from someone with ADHD. She highlights that people with ADHD may struggle with impulsivity, inattentiveness, and mood disorders, making it challenging for others to perceive their care and affection. Instead, she suggests focusing on understanding their unique challenges and fostering an open, honest, and non-judgmental approach to friendship.

Understanding Unintentional "Ghosting"

It's common for individuals with ADHD to unintentionally overlook or forget messages, leading to feelings of being "ghosted." Dr. Marianne explains that this behavior is often not intentional but rather a result of struggles with memory retention and frequent distractions. She encourages gentle follow-ups while being mindful not to overwhelm them with excessive messages, which could exacerbate feelings of being overwhelmed.

Respecting Sensitivities and Emotional Regulation

Dr. Marianne emphasizes the importance of being mindful of how actions and feedback can impact individuals with ADHD, potentially exacerbating conditions like rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD). Understanding when feedback might be received with heightened sensitivity can help prevent emotional distress and maintain harmony in the friendship.

Focusing on Strengths and Positives

To nurture positive and harmonious friendships, Dr. Marianne suggests embracing the positives and highlighting the fun and exciting aspects of your friend with ADHD. By focusing on their strengths and encouraging their best qualities, you can create a supportive environment where they feel valued and understood.

This article first appeared on Bona.

Also see: Friendship codes not to break.