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Article written by Ncumisa Lerato Kunana
When friendships end, it is never easy. It may have ended because of your decision, or it might have ended because of your ex-friend. It’s possible that the friendship was unhealthy or codependent, or that it was completely normal and wholesome. Your relationship may have abruptly ended or you two may have simply drifted apart over time.
Regardless, it’s a difficult situation. Even though they are not as frequently acknowledged as romantic breakups, friendship breakups do occur. And they sometimes hurt just as much, if not more, than splitting up with a romantic relationship.
In her article about friendship and friendship breakups for Oprah Magazine, Ashley Mateo offers the following wise advice: “Our brain doesn’t distinguish between a romantic and a platonic relationship,” says the author. Here are a few tips on how to get over a friendship breakup with the help of Psychology Today and Cosmopolitan.
Tips on how to get over a friendship breakup
1. Acknowledge your pain. Remember that all sadness is normal. Deep friendships can end, and that pain is just as real and valid as any other. There is a genuine loss of intimacy and kinship. It has merit. Please don’t try to convince yourself that it is nothing because it truly is something; it hurts.
2. Avoid Reminiscing. If looking through your old texts and images all day makes you feel sadder, try to avoid doing so. If you believe that deleting them will help you forward, go ahead and do so, but keep in mind that your goal is not to erase their memories. Instead of trying to ignore the relationship, you should work through your feelings.
3. Examine what went wrong. Friendships frequently break down when one person acts insensitively toward the other. Or the toxicity may occasionally be shared. Mental health conditions or a poor understanding or awareness of limits are frequently the cause of toxic behaviour.
4. Practise self-care. Even though staying in bed all day seems much simpler, it’s important to get out and take care of yourself. Even if it’s the last thing you want to do, keep up with your routine daily or weekly activities and don’t neglect your personal hygiene. The simple act of carrying on with your daily activities will help you get over the breakup’s sorrow. Participating in activities that make you happy or satisfied is beneficial.
When you and a friend are close, you could believe that you two will always be this close. Despite your aspirations, friendships don’t usually last a lifetime. Throughout your life, friends come and go and it's okay.
This story first appeared on Bona.
